I've lived in Wheaton my whole life. It's a quiet town. No one ever really gets stabbed or shot or attacked here. And if they do, it's cause for a security overhaul and it probably won't happen again for another century. We also have some of the best schools in the nation, including our high schools and community colleges. We are affluent, safe and smart.
Sounds pretty great, right?
But, after living here for all 19 years of my short little life, I have come to a bit of a problem that comes with not leaving to go away to school. You see, I attend the local community college and still live at home. Many people went away to college. Which, I'm not too butt hurt over. But then, a lot of them stayed here. Out of those that stayed, I can safely say I like less that 15% of them. And of those that I don't like, 94% probably have a few sour things to say about me too. But this isn't such a bad thing right? I mean, we don't see each other every day!
YOU ARE SO WRONG.
It's not a problem as much as it is a constant reminder of how fucked up people are and how much more tangled up we become in each other when we're all stuck in this town where we don't have to worry about getting killed or about our next meal. Since all our basic needs are fulfilled (some, over-fulfilled) we have time to be social. WITH ALL THE SAME FUCKING PEOPLE.
All throughout high school, I was friends with similar groups. We weren't the losers or the popular kids. We were more in the middle. We were the art kids, the kids that played video games and skated and kinda did their own thing. But we all knew each other and probably hung out with each other at some point in time. And now that some of us have left to college, the rest of us are left here to awkwardly exist alongside each other, not sure where we stand.
You see your ex boyfriend's best friend at the store and you have no idea if you should say hi or not. You and him had no problem, but for all you know your ex twisted the fuck out of the story and made you into some kind of she-devil. So you look down and realized you're in baggy-ass Xbox pj pants and you're like, "Son of a bitch, I look like a bag lady." So you don't say hi and you just look away awkwardly.
HE SAYS HI TO YOU AND YOU'RE ALL LIKE, "OH GOD, YOU KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN I'M WATCHING IT CROWD IN MY ROOM. THIS IS A LEVEL I DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU."
And then you don't know what to say so you kind of make an awkward honking/growling noise and then go and hide in the frozen food section only to end up at self-check out the same time as him. And you pretend to be super interested in what the machine has to say about you not bagging your loaf of french bread and 6 packages of cookies.
(Surprisingly, this did not happen to me. But it's the exact kind of thing that would happen to me.)
The part that really irks me, to the point of having to blog about it, is not the awkward greetings or the weird pass-bys in the the hallway at school, but when old friends and acquaintances become friends. What irks me more? When they start dating. Like, for example, my ex boyfriend's best lady-friend is now dating my other ex boyfriend. Bitch, we had a drunk heart to heart on a kitchen floor about this guy. And how he ROYALLY FUCKED me over. But do you care? No. Look at your life, look at your choices.
I don't know, guys. It's times like these I wish I could move away and go to school in Montana or Portland or somewhere where I don't really know anyone and none of my ex boyfriends are still dicking around and my ex friends aren't lurking in the places I like to shop. Or my ex boyfriend's ex fiancee and her sugar daddy never come into my work.
Am I asking too much?
I really am.
I could just unfriend them on facebook...
Who am I kidding, I fucking live off this shit.
With love and all the brutal honesty I can muster (which is a lot),