Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Cannibalism, yay or nay?

Disclaimer: I have never eaten a human being. Nor to I plan to, ever.

You know it's crossed your mind, "What would people taste like?" And if it hasn't, it has now. So, I'll give you a moment to ponder this...

You done? Okay.

For the record, I am not a cannibal. I do not plan to eat a person ever. Unless, I'm been put in a situation where I have to. Like, a life or death situation.You and a group of people survive a plane crash in northern Alaska and I bet you, my reader, that the first thing to cross your mind will be, "Who are we gonna eat first?" I know right now I will not be eaten first. Why? Because I'm thin and pumped up with lots of immune-suppressant drugs. I'd taste awful!

You'd eat the fat guy first right? WRONG! He'd taste awful. He'd be all fat. He'd be much better later on, when your own fat supplies have been depleted by your body eating itself. No, you'll wanna eat the normal guy. He's on the heavier side, but he has muscle too. And, he will most likely have good marbling. Which is ideal for a cut of meat. And, naturally, when I crash in a plane I will most definitely have a canister of Lawry's Seasoning Salt. Which makes everything delicious.

Moral of the Story: Cannibalism is wrong. Do NOT do it. Unless you have to. People will judge you. And maybe ostracize you. But I will still love you. Because I would do the same thing.

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